"Muscles Pull"

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was it like standing on a dock
staring out at
the cold cold water underneath

you know the shock is gonna suck
but you're burning up and
your nerves just beg for some relief

The world is not the same as it was yesterday
It'll never be again
Now hypotheticals can happen
And I lost sleep last night just planning how
to reel you right back in
but then you cut the line now it's too late
it'll always be too late

a broken down van in Massachusetts
and a shitty hotel room
how I am forced to picture you

I don't have a ton of details
but I probably could guess
and I assume it would be true

I wonder what you're thinking of when you're alone
and everything's just shit
and if you're body fought against you
Or did your muscles pull and play along
until they all went limp
did they think it was just another hollow empty threat

I wish that I believed your ghost exists
outside this fucking song
I wish that I believed in anything
in anything at all
There is no knowable causality
like dominoes that fall
And I've gained nothing save the knowledge that
the world's fucking awful
I wish that I believed your ghost exists
that I could talk to it
so second person pronouns didn't just make
me feel so damn stupid
And your last lingering impression is
this vacuum that you left
and I'll be damned if I want anyone
to come pound out that dent