"Muscles Pull"

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was it like standing on a dock
staring out at
the cold cold water underneath

you know the shock is gonna suck
but you're burning up and
your nerves just beg for some relief

The world is not the same as it was yesterday
It'll never be again
Now hypotheticals can happen
And I lost sleep last night just planning how
to reel you right back in
but then you cut the line now it's too late
it'll always be too late

a broken down van in Massachusetts
and a shitty hotel room
how I am forced to picture you

I don't have a ton of details
but I probably could guess
and I assume it would be true

I wonder what you're thinking of when you're alone
and everything's just shit
and if you're body fought against you
Or did your muscles pull and play along
until they all went limp
did they think it was just another hollow empty threat

I wish that I believed your ghost exists
outside this fucking song
I wish that I believed in anything
in anything at all
There is no knowable causality
like dominoes that fall
And I've gained nothing save the knowledge that
the world's fucking awful
I wish that I believed your ghost exists
that I could talk to it
so second person pronouns didn't just make
me feel so damn stupid
And your last lingering impression is
this vacuum that you left
and I'll be damned if I want anyone
to come pound out that dent

wrote a song tonight. don't think I like it. maybe I can write a better one on the same theme. Basically the exact same song as "Bleeder" by alkaline trio, only by me.

Some chords:

x3x210 (I think that's Csus6?)
x5x53x (Dmin7)

for the second half of the progression, I'm not really sure where to go. The thing I like about the first two chords is that they have a prominent note in them other than the root (the 6th and the 7th respectively) that establishes a feeling of motion outside of what the chords might otherwise suggest. I'd ideally like to continue that into the second half of the progression. I like the sound of maybe B to G (both simple octaves) or similarly, B to D (octaves). Maybe alternate.

I liked this with a 12312312 type of 4/4 rhythm.

A good song that I'm still working on: Demo
A stupid song that I will never perform again in my entire life: Demo

I wrote a bit of a song last night. I demo'd it up, but I'm not ready to post anything yet. So far it's a single verse, but I think it has real growth potential. It follows the themes I've previously established for this record I hope to eventually make.

So February is over, and I definitely lost at FAWM. I only managed to post four songs, and of those, I dislike one. Still, I consider this a success in that I did manage to come up with three songs that I not only like, but like quite a bit. "Skull Mansion" now ranks amongst my favorite songs, and "Snowflakes" and "Visible Scars" both carry their own weight very well in my opinion.

I found this blog very helpful towards my songwriting process and I plan to maintain it throughout the year. I think one of my major problems when it comes to writing music is that my excitement to have it be heard leads me to rush things to completion. This blog allows me to show off things in progress, but without the pressure of calling it finished. As such, I've been able to tweak songs several times over to get them to a point where I like them. It's a good thing.

Due to a busy end of the month, involving many Rotundo Sealeg shows and even a Wood Burning Cat set, I've gotten out of the habit of working on music. I need to kick myself into gear and write some things. Even just something silly and stupid. I've been listening to a lot of twee lately, which might be good and might be bad for me. I'm not sure. I think the style is often a bit overdone, and is territory that should be tread carefully upon. Still, there is a lot to like about the sincerity that is often present. I could do well to pull some positive aspects from twee and apply them to what I've been doing already. Sucking some of the melo-drama out of my songwriting couldn't hurt.

A brief moment of retarded distraction. Here's a cover song I found on a cassette tape.